Fazzinchi

CBB is Back!

We interrupt our Christmas retrospective to bring news of something more “happening”… Celebrity Big Brother is back on Channel 4 along with its full house of sister shows (i.e. more Russell Brand on Big Mouth, and Dermot on Little Brother).  Davina was her usual, over-excitable self and whipped up the panto crowd into a frenzy as the 11 new housemates, who are virtual strangers to us now, start to become familiar with their new surroundings as we become familiar with them.  So (more…)

Well, Clearly No-one Did

Is it just me, or does I’m A Celeb… seem to be lasting longer than ever this year? However, the twelve have now been whittled down to the final five (with one or two surprises along the way) to leave David, Jason, Myleene, Dean and Matt battling it out for the crown (Jan, thankfully having finally got the boot a few minutes ago). It is at this point every year that I lose a bit of interest in the jungle dwellers’ antics… it may be because they all seem to be getting along too well, they (more…)

Masters Of All They Survey

Well, it’s back and everyone’s talking about it… again.  “I’m A Celebrity…” is becoming a stalwart of ITV’s schedules, back for a sixth outing and attracting big ratings for a Monday night (and massive ratings for ITV).  The reasons for the success of this show can be summed up in two words: “Ant” and “Dec”.  They clearly have such a great time hosting the trials and providing the links, their enthusiasm is infectious and can make the otherwise unwatchable ordeal of seeing various (more…)

Tell It Like It Is

All sorts of people really wind me up.  Nikki from Big Brother is not a bad example.  As previously commented and feared, I got the feeling that she was going to be in the public eye for some time to come and right in the middle of the best show on TV at the moment, Lost, she turns up on a trailer for her own show.  I have vowed to watch absolutely none of Princess Nikki whatsoever!  However, the thing about Nikki is that there is no pretense about her to suggest that she is anything other than a celebrity wannabe.  She wants to be a celebrity despite (or may be because) she has no discernable talents and, as I said before, fair play.  The folks who really, really wind me up though, are the deluded souls who inhabit the worlds of two of the mosts popular reality shows of the moment, X-Factor and Dragon’s Den.

The folks over at TV Scoop have been writing about the antics of latest inventors to step up to the challenge of facing the unfeasably affluent panel.  Some of these people are so criminally under-prepared it beggars belief while at the same time being just a little bit sad, but it’s the ones who are so blinkered that they truly believe their “cucumber condoms” and “cardboard beach furniture” are actually great ideas.  It’s hardly worth giving these people the time of day, let alone some part of £1/4m.  And then there’s X-Factor… good grief, where do you start?!  There are people who turn up for auditions who couldn’t hold a note if their sorry, pathetic lives depended on it.  Car crash TV at its very worst.  However, there seems to be an unsettling trend that goes beyond these delusional no-hopers.

Simon, Louis and Sharron, I imagine, would only have 7 hours a day for auditions, at 10 minutes a go that’s 42 turns a day but there are 100’s if not 1000’s that turn up to be humliated seen.  Therefore, the contestants have to be vetted.  Therefore, someone has to do the vetting and choose these… “people” to be put before the triumvirate.  Therefore, we as an audience are being manipulated and forced to watch (and laugh at) these people…. and, is it just me or has this whole “lets have a look at the highlights of the auditions” part of the series, been inordinately lengthened to run for week upon sorry week to the degree that this is no longer a “talent show” but, very deliberately, a “no talent show”.  Why, and here’s the $64,000 question, do I enjoy it so much?

“Do you remember the time?”

Now is the time of year when many people are summing up their collective recollections of the latest incarnation of Big Brother and beginning their reviews with the words “Big Brother 2006 will be remembered for…” and whether it be Pete’s Tourettes, Nikki’s tantrums, Richard’s Diary Room bitchiness, or even Endemol’s ongoing incompetence, all well and good… Big Brain, Little Brother, and Big Mouth have all provided adequate commentary on these enjoyable, Orwellian inspired antics. However, this is the time when my enjoyment of the show packs its bags and heads off on its summer holiday to be replaced by a despairing sense of frustration with the world. The 22 contestants have had their fifteen minutes and it’s been suitably fun to watch on, hurling abuse at the television, at Grace and at Russell Brand’s hair but now it’s over. In any normal society, the 22 of them would scuttle back to their respective homes and occasionally talk about their experiences to their friends over a pint. What we get though, is a bombardment of faces coming back to haunt us on magazine covers, at film premieres, in the press, and worst of all in more dreary “celebrity” TV shows. Now, I don’t blame the ex-BB’ers themselves, they’re just looking after number one and if some media type is willing pay good money for a chat or a photoshoot, why not? My problem is with us!! Why on earth do we care about these people, they have done their time, they’ve served their purpose and they should be moving on. Jade, Chantelle and, inevitably, Nikki will be haunting us for years but can someone please explain why any of us should be the slightest bit interested?

“Don’t blame me but I’ve won already “

I’m sorry. Big Brother has been back on our screens for two weeks now and I have failed to mention anything about it at all. However, every time I think of something worth writing the dynamic in the house seems to change. Five people have already left the confines of the Boreham Wood studio… two have been evicted the public, two have evicted themselves and one was sort of, throw out: it’s been hard to keep up. A lot of people look down on reality shows like this and, if I’m honest, most of them have a point. It’s cheap, it’s nasty and there’s something deeply unfulfilling about watching it. I’d love to know the audience figures for the live streaming section but once you add in the complimentary shows (”Little Brother”, “Big Mouth”, Big Brain”, “Diary Room Uncut”, and Davina’s eviction show) you end up with a program that is on for 27 hours a day, this cannot be good for the health of any viewer. There is, of course, a flip side and that is it allows you to contemplate the life you live yourself. How would you react to Shabhaz? Is it right to talk about others behind their backs? How do I integrate myself into the various communities I live in? What are people’s first impressions of me? Anyone interested in people and relationships would find some talking points about the housemate’s antics. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.