Fazzinchi

#132. Happy New Year

As we stumble and stagger our way into another new year it’s time to make some resolutions for where this little website is heading…..

1. Better Writing. A website is not worthwhile without good content. I am already enrolled on a course to improve this aspect of Fazzinchi.co.uk. So, I resolve to get better at this.
2. More Content, More Regularly. Here’s the “Posts Per Month” breakdown for 2006: (more…)

Where did all the television go?

As September begins, I eagerly begin to cast my beady eyes over the listings magazines in search of that most rare of summer sightings, something worth watching on the telly. Currently, my Sky+ planner has a single and rather lonely looking “series link” set up to make sure that I do not miss the final three epsiodes of Lost. Admittedly, in my most humble of opinions, one Lost is worth three of most other things on the box but that does not make up for the fact that there is a paucity of new, quality material available during August. There are drought conditions both inside and out.

Now I know that the execs and the powers-that-be realise that almost nothing will get them substantial ratings at this time of year, a distinctly off-putting factor for the commercial outfits. The viewers are off on their holidays, enjoying the sunshine, or having a BBQ and they last thing they want to do is be tied to the TV, but is that any reason to give up? To illustrate, BBC1 tonight (4th Sept) at 7:30…. Open All Hours (!), while SkyOne is force feeding us four back-to-back episodes of The Simpsons. ITV (as if anyone is watching) have a line-up from 6pm to 9pm that goes: News, News, Soap, Soap, News, Soap. Admittedly at 9pm, things start to look up with Dalziel and Pascoe going up against Caroline Quentin’s Life Begins, but it’s September now… three weeks ago things were even more bleak.

I probably shouldn’t complain, it gives me a fighting chance to watch some of those DVD’s that have been gathering dust for a few months, and I can always find some sport somewhere thanks to the omni-present SkySports network and their 5 channels of 24-hour action. May be sport is the answer, we saw back in June and July that it can work: bung the World Cup on and you get millions tuning in to watch Paraguay v Sweden. However, for an industry that is, we are led to believe, crammed with “creative types” I’m sure someone should be able to come up with an idea or two for the summer.

No Comment

Have you seen BBC2’s latest make-over show, Home? The concept is quite refreshing because there are no presenters and, therefore, no egos on display with their holier-than-thou, “How can you live in a house with curtains like that?!” attitude. Instead, there is just a nice and simple voice-over commentary. Also, it’s an hour long with a good variety of different perspectives to maintain interest and they even allow successful designers to talk about their work and their achievements. So far, so good.

However, they do seem to end up with people like this chap (above). He agreed to (although I’m guessing he insisted upon) being interviewed while in this pose on his bed…. doesn’t he watch The Office?!?! He showed us his sideboard that reminded him of a Paul Smith jacket, so he didn’t put anything in it (where do I start?). And he tried to explain why his bathroom was entirely black to contrast with the rest of his appartment that was totally white, though I was losing the will to live at that point, so couldn’t follow his argument through to conclusion. If this is supposed to be an example of how the other half live, I’m glad I’m in this half. Pretentiousness is nothing to be proud of at the best of times but this guy’s hubris was almost too much to bear. Plenty more where he came from too, so watch at your peril and be prepared to hide behind your very normal, very safe sofa.

“Do you remember the time?”

Now is the time of year when many people are summing up their collective recollections of the latest incarnation of Big Brother and beginning their reviews with the words “Big Brother 2006 will be remembered for…” and whether it be Pete’s Tourettes, Nikki’s tantrums, Richard’s Diary Room bitchiness, or even Endemol’s ongoing incompetence, all well and good… Big Brain, Little Brother, and Big Mouth have all provided adequate commentary on these enjoyable, Orwellian inspired antics. However, this is the time when my enjoyment of the show packs its bags and heads off on its summer holiday to be replaced by a despairing sense of frustration with the world. The 22 contestants have had their fifteen minutes and it’s been suitably fun to watch on, hurling abuse at the television, at Grace and at Russell Brand’s hair but now it’s over. In any normal society, the 22 of them would scuttle back to their respective homes and occasionally talk about their experiences to their friends over a pint. What we get though, is a bombardment of faces coming back to haunt us on magazine covers, at film premieres, in the press, and worst of all in more dreary “celebrity” TV shows. Now, I don’t blame the ex-BB’ers themselves, they’re just looking after number one and if some media type is willing pay good money for a chat or a photoshoot, why not? My problem is with us!! Why on earth do we care about these people, they have done their time, they’ve served their purpose and they should be moving on. Jade, Chantelle and, inevitably, Nikki will be haunting us for years but can someone please explain why any of us should be the slightest bit interested?

Charlie Brooker Looks On

There’s something a little post-modern about watching a television programme about watching television, but Charlie Brooker’s Sceenwipe provides a great outlet for this TV critic’s spleen venting and, as a viewer, you find yourself happily nodding and laughing along and being thankful that you’re not the only one who feels that way about the on-screen channel idents, voice-over commentators and that Frosties advert. Brooker has a well-honed, gruff demeanor, a marvelous turn of phrase and a subversive wit. His years of TV criticism have forged his strong opinions but now the shoe is on the other foot by virtue of the fact that he is now the subject of such criticism. It might sit a little uncomfortably with him if not for the fact that he seems as thick skinned as they come and, more often than not, spot on with his comments. It’s certainly not Points of View but it’s great to see TV take a critical look at itself…. let’s hope someone is listening.

John The Gorilla

I never usually watch wildlife programmes. I may have written here before about the fact that, regardless of the splendour of the photography or sheer amazing capacity of life to exist and thrive in the most extreme of conditions, I generally get a bit bored. I feel guilty even admitting this, as there is something noble and worthy about the format that seems to encapsulate all that is good in programme making, and in these days of lowest common denominator television that, indeed, is something worth celebrating. Perhaps it is just that I prefer the more human element. Anyway, a friend of a friend was appearing in this episode of Sky One’s Last Chance To Save… so we sat down to watch the show, and I’m really glad that we did. Presented by one of the mountaineers from the magnificent Into The Void, the giant gorillas of the Congo were simply amazing animals; it well may be their undeniable “human” qualities were what appealed to this cynical viewer or it may the fact that there are a mere 30,000 in existence. Last chance to save, indeed.